"The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again, who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, and spends himself in a worthy cause; who at best, knows triumph of high achievement; and who, at worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat." ~ Theodore Roosevelt, "Citizen in a Republic"
Friday, March 5, 2010
LOVE these quotes :D
Thursday, March 4, 2010
some of my thoughts...
Religion is the passing point where humans merely exchange pleasantries and wave at their God, as they hide their souls from even themselves.
Wishing is something we do when we see something in the world as unjust or unfair and want it to change but only dare to tip-toe on the edge of playing God. It is a pacifist's word for though I want I have not done.
If I try and fail, I will smile because once I'm on the ground I'll have the gift of realizing that I was brave enough to dare to let myself fall. What do we ever learn from an easy stroll, anyways? Nothing; we just gain the needed peace and rest for our future adventures and falls. Failure is the teacher no one likes until they realize it was Failure that shaped them the most.
3/1/10
"2) They found that the stone had been rolled away from that entrance. 3) So they went in, but they didn't find the body of the Lord Jesus. 4) As they stood there puzzled two men suddenly appeared to them, clothed in dazzling robes."
Sometimes when God isn't there it's not that He has abandoned us, but it's that he has made a new way for us and gone before us. All that is left for us then to do is follow. So don't doubt God. Instead, realize what has happened and look for the clues He's left behind for us to run after Him by. And always think back to what He said. He will never abandon His children. And God can never lie. So ask ourself what else is going on here if you can't find Him. Don't look for what He did wrong to you because I promise you will not find anything and only run in circles. But be sure of your identity and become God's best friend. He is forever playing with us. He won't leave you behind, He in fact waits for you to catch up.
SO when you can't find God ask yourself, "what am I missing?" and open your mind to looking and seeking in a new way.
The bible says seek and you will find. But, that doesn't mean seek in any way you want to. But in the way He has set the game up for you to play. Just imagine God's playing sardines but for some reason, you're playing hide'n'seek. Different games have different rules and they just don't mix well.
Remember, God is there watching the whole time and He is not a mean God. If you are not getting it, ask Him for more clues or better eyes. But, don't get mad at Him for playing. Maybe you are just playing the wrong game when He's started another. Maybe when you feel alone or confused, God and everyone else is playing sardines and you're still stuck on hide'n'seek because you missed the memo.
The thing that's helped me the most though, is that if you're frustrated 'n' tired when you're playing with God and seeking after Him, never forget to look up. Who knows, God may just have a Jesus Beacon like Batman's haha :) He WILL help you and teach you how to play. But, you have to let Him teach you and love you. If you're doing all of the talking and you're not listening, how can you hear?
I guess the last thing I wanna say is that, He doesn't want you to be frustrated either. But, and there's always a "but" haha but, sometimes you just have to tough it out and deal with being frustrated but not becoming bitter. You have to stay open and teachable. Life isn't all daises and tea parties. It's gonna be hard. But when you are in a pinch, remember that somethings you just have to figure out and sometimes that just takes time and some good old fashioned hard work. But it'll be a lot more fun to struggle and figure it out and actually get to play than just quiting and sitting the whole thing out.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
2/28/10
Jeremiah 21:2
"Please speak to the Lord for us and ask Him to help us. King Nebuchadnezzar of Babylon is attacking Judah, Perhaps the Lord will be gracious and do a might miracle as he has done in the past. Perhaps he will force Nebuchadnezzar to withdraw his armies."
Sum up of what God was showing me:
Satin is Nebuchadnezzar and he is attacking us at home. God wants US to call out to HIM for Satin's armies to be withdrawn.
God told me this:
"Ask and it shall be given. Seek and you will find. Knock and the door will be opened to you.
You will never stop hunting unless your soul is satisfied; only then can you ever be truly happy. Until then, you will always want. God will make a way in the darkness when there is no other. Ask upon Him to clear your enemies from around you and He will do so when the time and your position is right."
The Getya Gloomies I don't miss...
I could paint a very ugly picture of my life right now. My mom's been sick for 3 years and is still fighting against the damage the cancer left her. My Dad's over worked and stressed. I have been fighting illnesses all of my life and am again. My first year of college was a disaster. The first semester i nearly died in the hospital and had to drop out just before the end of my first semester and lost ALL of my work. I got better but wasn't 100% but went back to school anyways and was welcomed with an immense amount of work.
My mom had surgery again. Very stressful. The same week of the surgery i had my first art project due along with a test and quiz and an exam just around the corner followed by another test. Life isn’t all peachy baby and sometimes that’s just how it goes… I was getting colds left and right. i was still very tired and not feeling great. To sum it up, I was about as stressed and pathetic looking as the soul surviving wet ant standing a top its flooded mound not knowing quiet what to do. I settled for dripping my way off to work with no specific end in mind, just to work. Then I went through a break up. No need for details on what that’s like thanks to Hollywood and Hallmark. Continued at school and after school everyday I visited the hospital, but more specifically my mother in it, not the actual building itself. That’s silly. There are far prettier places to go if one was going to visit a place. But I would stay until late at night and attempt to do all the homework there I could, emotionally I was turning off.
Then she came home and we cared for her here. And I always wished there was more I could do for her. She's been through so much, i wished i could at least ease her pain, but i couldn't. So i went off to school early the next morning exhausted, rather down and feeling somewhat useless. And as the colors of life were fading from my depressed eyes, I got sick. Had a fever of 104.8 and still tried to go to school… I had an exam that week, I couldn’t skip. Don’t look at me as if I were mad. Haha I took the exam sick and after wards I just stared at it, not remembering how I took it or how long it had been I just knew I was done and didn’t remember how. Very weird but it was a blessed moment indeed. Haha SO Then I just became sicker and all around just very ill again and am now successfully very drugged and anxious and irritable because of the steroids I was put on haha :D sadly they won’t make me super strong but luckily they wont make me fat ‘ither haha BUT to end this tail: it's been declared on facebook, so to the world as we know it haha, that I have mono and had to drop ALL of my classes and loose all of my work yet again. I could go on but you see my point and I’m afraid I’d bore you… SO in a shell’s nut… I've had a ruff go.
But honestly, I have not been as happy as I am right now in a long long time. It doesn't make any sense. In fact it may even constitute a CAT scan. However, I can pass the scan in good conscience because A.) it’s far too expensive with Obama’s stellar health care program and B.) Because I know it’s because of God that i would be so happy. You see, I should just look around and be able to get unlimited emo rights. But, i don't want them. Why? I went to Jesus and it honestly doesn't seem all that bad. :) really :) It’s actually just the opposite.
He lets me see the humor and the silver lining and I don't feel abandoned or screwed at all. All I can say is that I am so happy to be alive. Out of the gloomy state above, this is what i see:
My dad has work when so many don't. Too much in fact. :) My mom has touched thousands through her story and while it is hard, she's stronger than the happenings on earth around her and has opened up to let Jesus speak to her and be with her in this as well. Through all of these things my family has become closer. We laugh like we've never laughed before and have learned to see humor and light in some of life's darkest corners. When I was sick last year, it gave my boyfriend at the time and i a new look on things and because of that when our relationship changed we were able to become and stay friends. I don’t know if that would have been possible if thing hadn’t happened they way they did and if we didn’t get that time together in the end that we had. We have a real happiness for the other and we're still a part of the other's life just in a very different way. I really would go through all of that again because I cherish the outcome it gave so much.
Through dropping out of college the first time, it's made the second much easier. And in dropping a second time, it's given me the chance to recover and focus on getting the rest i need to be healthy again. It's given me the chance to think to become closer with God and explore other options for me in life. Through my sickness my sister and I have bridged a once very distance filled gap. LA suddenly doesn't seem so far away God has given me an AMAZING group of friends and FANTASTIC new friends as well. They’ve all come right along side of me and blessed me so much through everything and in this time. That has given me such joy :) They’re amazing! I have so much. A house, two dogs a loving family and friends a bright future ahead of me. How could I complain?
I would never have seen things this way, if it wasn't for the Holy Spirit first coming to me.
Anyways, I am in a very good spot. And I'll stop lecturing you with my little anecdote haha but I wanted to share with you about me and where I am also... :) Hope it wasn’t tooo boring haha anyways moving right along... :D
Personal Effects
For me, I really needed to hear this. I hardly ever looked up to God first. I usually would just make a fist and wag it around and then go spew my problems onto other equity hurting people. I mean, after all who isn't hurting in these days, right? I realized that was wrong of me and it didn't do me any good. I was still just as mad as i was before i started waving my clutched phalanges about... SO I had a novel and completely original idea huh ;) I looked up and I listened.
I can't tell you how much going to God first and just speaking to Him like i would with you has changed me. He's heard me all along, but i never directed any of my comments towards Him or invited Him to say anything back on the matter. Now, yes He is God and could interrupt my internal monologue but, who wants to go to a party, their not invited to? So... I started inviting Him in and I started inviting Him first. I've found such happiness and joy after i started doing that. He really does give me such incredible strength. My old self would be very depressed at this point in my life.
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